A month ago I’d never heard of James Franco. Now I hear the name “James Franco” and I get a little dizzy.
According to the NY Times James Franco is applauded by professors at Yale for “making it to class” on a Monday. Elsewhere, the chairman of the Yale English department gushes over how James Franco doesn’t display his “Hollywood wattage” in graduate classes about Walt Whitman. Still others enthuse over how “mysterious” fellow student James Franco is.
Google “I Hate James Franco” and you mostly find articles by people who admit they wish they could be James Franco.
On Thursday I asked my students “Who is James Franco?” and they immediately listed his acting credits. I found my students could spontaneously talk at length about the career of James Franco. This means James Franco is probably the most famous living American short story writer. He easily our most famous poet of the last 40 years.
Google “James Franco Devoured by Alligators” and you will only be disappointed.
James Franco’s mother is named “Betsy Franco” and he reads Karen Russell to her.
I told my students, “James Franco is evidently a student at Yale. He managed to make it to class on Monday. Like most of you.”
James Franco is potentially a bringer of light to literature. James Franco is, probably, sincerely enthusiastic about literature and art.
I told my students, “If any of you made a million dollars a movie I’d tell you not to come to class.” I told them, “If any of you made a million dollars a movie I’d ask you for a grant so I wouldn’t have to come to class.”
I told my wife, “If I ever met James Franco I’d punch him in the face.”
I told my students, “You don’t learn how to write by flying around to a dozen different schools.” I told my students, “You don’t learn about literature by enrolling in 10 different PhD programs.”
I meant to tell my wife, “It breaks my heart to see this man in such a position of influence.”
I meant to say, “If I met James Franco I’d slip him a copy of Scorch Atlas. I’d give him With Deer. I’d give him Motorman.”
I would hope for something to happen.