Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Funny, I believe we PLUMBers have a bit of a theme going here; funny too, because that’s exactly what I had in mind to write about this time around–film. Or, more specifically, Quentin Tarantino.

According to IMDb.com, Mr. Tarantino (oh, bosh, let’s drop the Mr.; I am after all, on first-name terms with the man) has a spate of new films due out in the next few years, some being written by Quentin (aw heck, sometimes I just call him Q) and some to be produced. That’s exciting news for someone like me, who cut her teeth on Pulp Fiction.

So I fudged a little… I’m not exactly on first-name terms with Q, but I am in an interesting position: I need to query his agent for a possible blurb, which if secured, would appear on the back of a forthcoming book. I can predict a few varieties of responses from this contact. The first being what can most reasonably be expected from Mr. Quentin Tarantino’s agent, i.e.,

1. Dear Ms. Reeser,


Thank you for contacting me. Unfortunately, Mr. Tarantino is unavailable to consider any publicity at this time from outside sources.


Best wishes,

Mr. Quentin Tarantino’s Agent

Or, at the opposite extreme, the response that would be a complete surprise,

2. Dear Ms. Reeser,


Thank you for contacting me. I am an avid reader of your journal and publications. Mr Tarantino is also a follower of your writing, and has expressed his desire not only to provide a blurb for the book in question, but also to help promote the book in one of his films. Mr. Tarantino has requested your presence at the next Academy Awards gala, and would like you to accompany him. If you are available, he would also like your assistance editing his current screenplay. Further details will be forthcoming.


Best wishes,

Mr. Quentin Tarantino’s Agent


P.S. Mr. Tarantino would like to kiss you.

Being a reasonable person, I would rather not enter into any messy agreements or compromising positions with anyone I have never met, or for that matter, with anyone at all. However, Q being Q, I suppose I would have to keep my options open.

This is me thinking of kissing Quentin Tarantino:

Contemplating kissing Quentin Tarantino
Contemplating kissing Quentin Tarantino

This is me thinking that kissing Quentin Tarantino might not be such a good idea after all:

Maybe not...
Maybe not…

This is me looking aloof and hoping Quentin Tarantino will find me fetching and want to hire me as his editor:

I do great work...
I do great work…

I wouldn’t say I’d snub a little friendly smooch from a man I consider a rough-edged creative genius, but I will confess that 99% of the attraction is to his intelligence. Well, right, I suppose those are far-flung scenarios and that I am probably wasting my time considering something that will never come to fruition, and would be better off doing something productive, like tending to the bottomless pile of manuscripts on my desk.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

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