As decided by me.
Cactus Jack’s: South of the border cantina theme featuring cowboy hat wearing, polka playing cacti musicians that occasionally screech, “Look out for the thorny surprise!” Though the cacti have German accents, they always make me think of Amy’s parents on Futurama. You rack up points by throwing fruit at them, presumably because you are a rowdy Texan. The fruit have faces. And feelings, man.
Embryon: Luckily, this is an early “widebody” game, which means user reviewers can hide inside technical discussions about game play. If they ever refer to the art, it’s only to say that it’s “great.” No one seems to want to address what’s going on inside that amniotic sac. I used the art for a baby shower invite.
Funhouse: Rudy is a giant heckling dummy head who taunts you out of your humanity, until pretty soon you are shooting for his teeth and eyes. He nicknames players, which makes it all the more personal and hurtful. We tested this game at a very noisy show in Dallas, and we were pretty sure Rudy called me “Bitch,” and my husband “Fucko.” Later we learned he was probably calling us “Slick” and “Bucko.”
Xenon: This game is considered “sexy” in the pin community. Notice that you have T and A, but not on the same body. In fact the A is planted firmly between the Ts. Check out th dewy overbite and those back-pill eyes. What’s that, you say those dilated pupils mean she’s aroused? By whom, her tiny little jumpsuit friend? Is that gonna work out?
Bad Cats: Cats are tearing up the house! There’s a lady with a broom to smack the cats! A spinning seafood table mystery wheel!!!! And all the cats look psychotic.
I’ll do a top 5 culturally-uncomfortable pinball list one of these days.
Yes, spent many hours playing Fun House. Where have all the machines gone? Do you have to go to Chuck E. Cheese or something?
I’m happy you asked that. This just opened in DC:
http://www.nationalpinballmuseum.org/museum/